Monday, March 7, 2011

Treasured Days

If you are a follower of my blog, you know that I have not exactly extolled the virtues of mothering a teenage daughter more than a few times. And although she is a mere 13 and has been priming the teenage pump for years now, I am told that worse times are ahead. That 13 is nothing. Well I'm here to say that 13 is, in fact, something and it isn't exactly what I'd describe as fun and games.

I won't go into all the gory details of back-talking, eye-rolling, hormonal breakdowns, and public embarrassment. Most of you probably know the drill.

What I will do, however, is share the past few treasured days spent with my daughter because in comparison to our daily experiences, this was a rare and wonderful occurrence, and I feel it needs to be known there are indeed some shining moments during this tumultuous time.

We didn't really do anything spectacular. It was any ordinary Saturday really. Paul and I cleaned the house, Jamie tackled her bedroom, without resistance. Paul went into work for the evening preparing for this Friday's launch, so Jamie and I had a girl's night to ourselves. While I wanted to do all fun stuff, I knew there was homework to be done so I sat and worked through my record book preparing my tax info while Jamie dutifully did her homework, both of us listening to music on the Soundscapes channel. She likes her music, for sure, and normally would like to be listening to DeadMau5 or some other techno stuff, but she also enjoys soothing music while doing homework. I appreciate that. I've had college roommates who I wish had the same liking while studying.

After our duties were complete, we were hungry and also wanted to rent a movie, so we headed to the grocery. She seemed thrilled to be having dinner from the grocery and when I let her decide what we'd eat, she was equally thrilled to choose a deli sub AND I even gave in to chips (although they were Light Pringles) and soda. I guess she's so used to me cooking healthy foods during the week, it was quite a special treat.

We selected Eat, Pray, Love for our movie and then headed home to eat our "dinner" together without a care about silverware or cleaning dishes. The movie proved to be, in my opinion, a bit of a disappointment but it was entertaining enough. As we watched, I worried that it was too boring for her, but bless her heart, she seemed to enjoy it. She was more interested in the details about Julia Robert's travels and the things she herself already knew about India from her World Cultures class. She excitedly shared with me about some sort of fruit she had learned about in class that could kill you if if fell on you while passing under the tree upon which it grew.

Now this may all sound silly, but as I sat in the dark with the glow of the TV shining on her face as she told me this informative tale, my heart swelled with love for her. For her love of knowledge, and her very adult-like manner of her story and actually enjoying this movie with her mother. I vowed to remember this moment and treasure it, certain that tomorrow would be a different story.

But I was somehow granted another and even more glorious day with her.

With Paul away at morning hockey and then to help his dad with his taxes, we had another day to share as just us girls. We hung around while in our jammies just talking and enjoying Suki (our Sheltie) and leisurely got ready to go out for some lunch and shopping. To preface, most times our shopping excursions turn disastrous quickly with disagreements about clothing choices or simply battling the attitude. I usually embarrass her easily and often, and she sulks. But this day was different. We stopped at Panera for lunch and as we often do, we chatted and laughed about little things. (Mostly funny people around us, I admit.) Then did some shopping for much-needed things to replace clothes she has yet-again outgrown.

It was as if I was shopping with a really great girlfriend. We encouraged one another to try things on, we complimented each other on choices, we laughed, and we reveled in getting a good deal on our purchases. No eye-rolling or sulking. Not once.

Then it was off to do the weekly grocery shopping, and although the clothes shopping seemed to wipe her out, she still didn't complain about being dragged to the grocery. In fact, I think she got a little slap-happy from her clothes shopping high. We were two giggling girls going up and down the aisles, and I finally completely lost it on the cereal aisle when she referred to the Fiber One Pop Tarts as "Fart Tarts".  We laughed so hard it hurt.

The most wonderful kind of hurt I know.

And love.

The day finished off nicely, but then I could see her slipping away from me as I asked her to pick up her laundry from her bedroom floor. I got the traditional "huff" as she stomped to her room.

I guess it's a trade-off.

One that I will gladly accept as long as I get those few treasured days in between.

I love her so very much.

5 comments:

  1. Oh Annette, that is so sweet. It sounds like a wonderful weekend of togetherness and connection. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely story! You brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful! Love fills in between every line.
    Linda M

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is so sweet that you had a fun couple of days with your daughter. I've found that my teenage daughter and I have more and more good days as she has gotten a little older (she is now 18), and we really enjoy doing things together.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm right there with you Annette. I have an almost 15 yr old son; almost 13 yr old daughter and a 10 yr old daughter. I to cherish these fun Mother/daughter days. Sometimes they are only moments....I cherish those too.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for leaving a comment! If you have a question you would like answered, please e-mail me at AnnetteGreen@bellsouth.net